NUTRITIOUS AND DELICIOUS

The Hot Dogs Accelerate

10:00 PM: You eat a hot dog. It is a good hot dog. A little mustard, a little relish. Everything is fine.

10:15 PM: You feel another urge to eat a hot dog. You go back to the kitchen. You grill one up. You eat it. It’s a bit bigger than the last one, maybe a jumbo frank.

10:30 PM: You feel it again. You run to the kitchen. You sit at the table. A massive plate of six hot dogs comes out of the kitchen. You inhale them. The buns clog your throat. You chug water. They go down.

10:45 PM: You are now sitting at the kitchen table permanently. The hot dogs are being consumed at a steady rate. You are constantly chewing. The pile on the table is rising.

11:00 PM: The hot dogs are arriving faster than you can chew and swallow. They overflow the table. The kitchen floor is covered in hot dogs. You try to run, but the links are at your ankles.

11:30 PM: The hot dogs have filled the first floor of your house. You are on the stairs. The mountain of meat and buns is rising. It is moving at 5 mph.

12:00 AM: You are on the roof. The hot dogs have completely filled your house. They are bursting out of the windows. The neighborhood is flooded with thousands of wieners. The hot dogs accelerate.

1:00 AM: The city is evacuated. The military is called in. They try to build a dam to contain the meat-tsunami, but the hot dogs destroy it. The mass is now moving at 20 mph. It is 50 feet high.

3:00 AM: The state is covered in hot dogs. The President declares a national emergency. You are floating on a giant, stray bun. The hot dogs are moving at 100 mph.

6:00 AM: The United States is completely submerged in hot dogs. The atmosphere is filled with the scent of processed meat and nitrogen. The hot dogs have reached the ocean. They are moving at 500 mph.

12:00 PM: The Earth is a ball of hot dogs. The oceans are gone. There is only processed meat. The hot dogs are moving at the speed of sound.

Friday: The solar system is engulfed in hot dogs. The sun is extinguished by a billion metric tons of meat and mustard. The hot dogs have formed a black hole of pure gluttony.

Next Week: The universe is a hot dog. There is nothing but hot dog. The meat expands at the speed of light. It is infinite. The hot dogs accelerate.

Product features
- Vibrant all-over print for a standout look
- 4-way stretch for maximum comfort and movement
- High-rise waist for a secure and stylish fit
- Durable fabric that retains shape and dries quickly
- Skinny fit with double layer waistband for added support

Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Do not iron
- Do not tumble dry
- Do not bleach
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)